Welcoming 2011

Photo courtesy of myfashionlife.com

I will be forever indebted to Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project for distinguishing between goals and resolutions. Sometimes we use the two terms interchangeably, blurring their respective meanings. Goals, she says, we set in order to reach some objective; like training for a marathon, or learning a language, or taking classes in order to get a degree. Resolutions are those tasks we set for ourselves in order to improve our lives, but they generally don't have a "done" or final moment at the end; like eating healthy, or exercising, or meditating. Of course there's some crossover, but you get the idea.

I'm afraid I've inherited Derrick's suspicion of New Year's Resolutions. I mean, really, if there's a change we need to make in our lives, it's a bit suspect to imagine that there's something magical about a date as arbitrary as the first of every year. So last year I didn't set a single goal or resolution. And I didn't even feel bad about it.

This year, however, I've spent more time thinking about some things I'd like to change. This isn't a comprehensive list at all. It might even seem weird and eclectic to my friends reading this. Sorry about that.

The overall concept defining this year is: preparation. I'll spare you the details, but I have a lot of preparing to do this year. Lots of goals are already in place to get me ready for things to come, but there are two specific resolutions, preparation aside, I want to focus on.

1. Once and for all, I want to conquer my fear of math. It's always been a major source of fear and anxiety for me and I want to work it into my head that there's nothing really scary about math. I'm taking a basic math course and will be making frequent visits to BYU's math lab.

2. Having a break from school was blissful in many ways. One way in which it was particularly nice was how laid-back I could be with Squirty. During the break I'd put her down for a nap, and she acted very reluctant. As usual she cried and she fussed. Normally, I'd have to ignore her as best I could, comforting her periodically and then quickly getting back to whatever I needed to do until she finally fell asleep. This particular nap-session, I realized that there was no urgency. There was nothing I desperately needed to get to, so I went and picked her up and held her until she fell asleep, like an angel in my arms. I had the most remarkable feeling that I had just accomplished something good and worthwhile.

Being married to a man with a background in neuroscience, I recognized that I was experiencing the lovely after-effects of oxytocin, the bonding chemical. I also recalled research I'd heard concerning women and the positive effects oxytocin has on them when they're stressed. Some specialists even recommend that working mothers don't try to escape their children at the end of a busy, stressful day, as they might be tempted to do, but to instead embrace them, play with them or otherwise bond with them as a more effective way of coping with stress. Silly as it may seem to readers, I resolved to hold Squirty until she falls asleep as often as I feel I can. It's good for both of us. I'm not going to have a chart; I'm not going to create a rigid schedule; I'm not going to commit myself to it every single day. But it's something I want to do more often, so I will.

Good luck to you, if you do decided to create some New Year's resolutions. I hope all of you have a lovely, lovely New Year.