calling all dream interpreters

Last night I had a dream that I absolutely kicked the shit out of one of my high school classmates. A petite wiseguy with a tiny-penis complex, let's just say that in real life I didn't care for the guy.

It all started out with some half-joking sparring, which then escalated into wrestling with intermittent punching. Next, I have him in a chokehold and I start to squeeze. I hope, mildly, that I don't actually end up killing him. But I am at least hoping that he passes out so I can be on my way. Eventually he faints. I arrange his body next to a brick wall at the end of a dead-end street. And since I'm so considerate, I place his head delicately on some abandoned newspaper. I walk away with a spring in my step.

Then I start to sweat it. Surely he will awaken and tell people what happened?

Next, I'm in the hospital visiting him. Before arriving however, I construct a perfect defense. We've always liked to joke around, right (erm, not really, but whatevs)? Things just got out of hand. Besides, he's given me bruises too (actually he hadn't. But to protect myself, I searched my body for bruises I could blame on him and found one that I have in real life that I didn't get from fighting a high school nemesis). Besides, I could tell things were getting bad, so for his and my own protection I used my positional advantage to put him gently (ahem) under so no one else would get hurt.

So, I'm at the hospital. He looks terrible. Like he's just survived a hanging. He has big angry bruises all over his body and especially around his neck. On closer inspection his neck looks like one big rope burn. My forearms did that? I'm thinking: geez, Jen! Suddenly one of our 6th grade teachers shows up along with one of my grade-school girlfriends who once gave this guy the time of day (something I'm sure she'll feel embarrassed about evermore). I feed both of them my bullet-proof defense. They seem to be buying it.

Then I wake up. 

So what do you think? Catharsis? Wishful thinking? Revenge of the Nerds? Bildungsroman? Feminist rage?

Analysis, please.

Turkeys, metaphorically

We spent this Thanksgiving at my family's cabin. The day after Thanksgiving I was responsible for turning a left-over turkey carcass into some turkey soup for dinner. Derrick was in the kitchen helping me prepare the meal. My grandpa entered. Look, I love my grandpa, but he does exude a large quantity of white-male-Mormon-patriarchal arrogance. Let's just say it can be a bit unbearable. All the time. The scene is laid out below.

Jen and Derrick in the kitchen. Jen is wrestling with a turkey carcass, scraping every last bit of meat she can from it. Derrick is stirring cornbread batter. Grandpa sits and watches, as per usual. Light conversation follows. When out of nowhere:

Gpa: [in an authoritative voice] Jennifer, you're not allowed to be a prophetess. (What? I seriously don't remember why he brought this up).

Jen (not Jennifer, mind you): What? But Grandpa, there are prophetesses in the Bible.

Gpa [laughs mirthlessly]: But they are far and few between. (Derrick is listening anxiously, afraid he knows what's coming)

Jen: So?

Gpa: Jennifer, you are fighting a losing battle. (Beads of sweat form on Derrick's brow)

Jen: With this turkey? I think you might be right. (Obviously taking the high road, Derrick relaxes)

Derrick: [to Jen] Which turkey are you referring to?

I love, love, love my husband. Oh, and the soup turned out great, just like I knew it would. I guess I'm a "prophetess" after all.

My Diva List

A quick disclaimer - Actresses are in fact not the people I admire most in life. I have quite a long list of people I greatly admire for lots of things and maybe someday I'll share that list on a blog post. For a while though, I've been compiling a list of actresses in my head that I honest-to-goodness enjoy. Chip in if you think I've missed someone, or weigh in on the ones I've listed, if you feel so inclined.

Emma Thompson. oh. my. heavens. Isn't this woman a goddess? My, oh my, does this woman have brains. She penned one of my favorite Jane Austen film adaptations (for which she won an Academy Award, by the way, and of which I have a carefully kept copy) and has been in so many films I've absolutely loved. A fellow classmate recently told me I reminded her of Emma Thompson which made me happier than I think I've ever been.

It's difficult to pick my favorite role of hers, but I'd have to be honest and say she's my favorite in Stranger than Fiction as Karen Eiffel. Other favorite films include Last Chance Harvey, Brideshead Revisted, Wit (so so good in this one), Sense and Sensibility (of course), The Remains of the Day, Much Ado About Nothing, and Howards End.




Kate Winslet. Banish any thoughts of Titanic this instant. Have you seen her in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? Have you? Clementine is one of my all-time favorite characters, and guess who pulled it off? Yep.

Other favorite films: Sense and Sensibility (again), Hamlet, and even though I didn't really like Finding Neverland, she certainly was my favorite part of the movie.



I know Rachel Weisz may seem an unlikely choice. For me her film career has been hit-and-miss. But if you haven't seen her as Tessa Quayle in The Constant Gardener you are missing out on one of the most powerful character depictions of all time. I've also really enjoyed her in About a Boy and The Fountain (weird movie, but she is charming in it).


Ah. Dame Dench. I mean, how could anyone resist Judi? My favorite role: Armand Voizin in Chocolat, but really, there are so many others. A Room with a View, Her Majesty, Mrs. Brown, The Importance of Being Earnest, Pride and Prejudice, I even loved her in that super-cheesy romantic sit-com, "As Time Goes By". Ah yes, and who could forget her depiction of Elizabeth I in Shakespeare in Love?

Lastly, Ellen Page has dazzled in both Juno and Inception. I look forward to her future work with much anticipation.

A good friend also put together a fun fashion tribute to Ellen Page here. It may or may not have influenced me to put Ellen on this list.


I'm not sure what it means that almost all of my favorite actresses are British. The friend who put together the fashion tribute for Page also has made mention on her blog that Weisz, Thompson and Winslet have vowed never to get plastic surgery. Interesting, no?

So, who did I miss? Well, certainly Natalie Portman, Eileen Atkins, Helen Mirren, Helena Bonham-Carter and Juliette Binoche but I couldn't go on forever!

My Dream House

I don't think about this too often. I care more about what I'm doing where I live than what I sleep in. In this area of life I admit I'm a bit eccentric, or at least, not very "grown up".

Here are my different dream houses. I love them all, but in no particular order:

The tree house. Who couldn't always feel young in this thing? A satellite dish would look wildly inappropriate perched on these shingles. Another plus.


The sailboat would fulfill every peripatetic urge I've ever had. You can carry your roots with you wherever you go. I just can't say no to that. The only trick, I'd actually have to learn how to sail.

Now, just look at that! Isn't it gorgeous? No, I'm not referring to the space beneath the roofing tiles, but above them. Ever since I saw UP, I've been craving one of these of my very own. It carries with it the same benefits as the sailboat. Only thing: Instead of sailing I'd have to learn to fly.

As long as I have one of these rooms in my treehouse, sailboat or blimp, I don't really care which it is:

While Derrick ate his dinner...

I took this hilarious quiz. I'd say I'm a lukewarm Austenite. As far as Victorian novels go, I prefer Elizabeth Gaskell, or Charlotte and Emily Bronte over Austen, but I enjoy her work nonetheless. Sometimes I think a bit much is made of her, but I digress.

My friend Birgit showcased her results on her blog and generously shared the link. I confess, I laughed out loud on some of the questions. I was also a bit nonplussed at the results. Me, Anne? I like Anne, but I guess I fancy myself as more of a Marianne-type character, which perhaps means I'm more mature than I give myself credit for? Oh well, have fun!

Star-sighting at Tucanos

Call us carnivorous consumers, but we quite enjoy Tucanos. We hit it up Friday for our date night and even braved a near hour and a half wait just to taste their delectable filet mignon.

Guess who made an unexpected appearance? Tyson Apostol, contestant on Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains. We ultimately decided to not ask him for a picture. He was on the Villains team for a reason after all; he's kind of a jerk and an egotist. Derrick especially didn't want to inflate his already high opinion of himself. We suspect Tyson's pseudo-stardom scored him an early seating (before us! The nerve...) but we were seated very near him and his friends, a mix varying from unwashed miscreant to over-the-top metrosexual.

See him in the trucker-hat? Sorry the picture sucks!

Me? A misogynist killer?

Tonight, after watching some profiles of Mormons on mormon.org, I jokingly said to Derrick, "Hey, maybe one day they'll do a profile on us because we're so diverse and nontraditional (Yeah, right)." He replied, "Yeah, I can see it now: 'My name is Jen, I've killed over fifteen misogynists, and I'm a Mormon.'" Oh, my husband. He knows me so well.

Artists in Residence

This is going to be a big surprise to many of you, but Derrick and I aren't really artists. Nope. In fact my cousins, Michelle and Lisa, who just happen to be amazing artists, might snigger a little while reading this post. No matter.
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Though we aren't artists, we do like to spend time together and we enjoy trying new things. Additionally, I'm not a big decorator or decoration buyer, but I hated a certain wall in my apartment that always looked blank no matter what I hung up. So I decided several months ago to ditch the standard date-night set-up (babysitter, eating out, etc.) and headed to my university's bookstore to buy some painting supplies.

As you can see, I didn't go out on a limb. I bought the very basic colors, knowing we could create any color we needed by mixing primary colors. I remembered that vividly from my elementary school days. Impressive, no?

For other supplies we used newspaper (also acquired at BYU-who reads the student newspaper anyway?) and for a palette we got a piece of cardboard and stapled a plastic bag over it. Because I'm not a serious artist, I felt no need or desire to actually spend money on a legitimate palette. Besides, this worked just as well.
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When I told Derrick about my idea he jumped right on board and never complained. Isn't he a stud? We started talking about what to paint and decided on painting a place we want to live or travel to someday. Problem was, we couldn't decide which place, so we decided to divide the canvas and do several of them.

Masking tape served as the divider, here's the painting in it's first stage.

Closer to it's final stage...


And...done!

I know all of you are dying to have one of our masterpieces in your very own home, but at this stage in our career, it would be impossible to keep up with all of your orders. Sorry, guys.

Now let's see how many of you can accurately name the places we painted and extra credit for those who can guess which scenes Derrick or I are responsible for.

An Evening of Gluten Free, an Evening to Remember

We've been eating gluten-free together for several months now, and it's been relatively painless. A few months into our GF experiment I decided to learn how to make chocolate mousse, Derrick's favorite dessert. I found a great recipe on allrecipes.com, a recipe shared by my friend, Lisa. I had always thought of mousse-making as a very laborious and delicate process (which it seems, at first), but I'm pleased to say that, like most things, it becomes increasingly easier. So follow along as we explain the steps to you.

1) So this isn't exactly an official step, but eating it with strawberries is fun. Plus, they were on sale.

2) Here we go. We (Okay, I) decided to go with white chocolate for the very first time. I've always had a major penchant for it and we haven't tried it yet. Grab a bag of chocolate morsels, doesn't matter what kind, and melt it slowly on the stove with 2tbl. butter and 1/4 c. water. After you've melted it all the way, set it aside for 10 minutes, allowing it to cool.
3) In a separate pan, whisk together 1/4c. water, 2 tbl. sugar and 5 egg yolks. Slowly heat it until it reaches 160 degrees and keep it at that temp for 1-2 minutes. Do I seem like the kind of person who'd keep a thermometer around the kitchen to you? If you think so, you're grossly mistaken. I usually do this part by sticking my finger periodically into the egg mixture and guessing. It's worked so far.

4) Whisk the egg mixture into the now-cooled chocolate.
5) Set it into a sink full of ice-cold water and let it cool for 5-10 minutes.
6) This part works best if you have a handy and helpful husband around (how's that for alliteration?). Whip a pint of whipping cream until it's as stiff as you can get it. We added a touch of vanilla.

7) After the chocolate has cooled, fold the whipped cream into the chocolate and continue folding until smooth.

8) Enjoy! This is the easiest part.
We got a little carried away...

But we harbor no regrets.

With recipes like this, who needs wheat?

Creativity

It is a great source of happiness and pride to me that I belong to a church that discusses the worth and importance of personal creativity and individual action. One of my favorite addresses of all time was given by Elder Uchtdorf. Watch part of his address by visiting the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/user/MormonMessages#p/f/4/RhLlnq5yY7k

I don't consider myself a crafty person. At all. But I do enjoy being busy and creative.

Here are some things I've created lately:

This is me and my partner in crime for the Hunger Banquet, Rachel. Not only was she an awesome person to work with, but it was her birthday the week after the HB; I felt beholden by her awesomness to create this beanie for her.

I've tried my hand at knitting. And failed. Crocheting is much more accesible for me for some reason. It also gives my hands something to do when we're watching movies or I feel lazy and bored in general.

Cute, no?

This object was meant to be a baby blanket, but ended up being more of a throw.

Oh, well. It was my first time, and I think it ended up looking great anyway.

Especially when wrapped around a cute little baby.
Pie is a more recent venture for me.

Unfortunately, I'd just discovered my ability to make

pastry when we diagnosed Derrick with Celiac's disease.

However, I still make it when Derrick's back is turned :)

Yum!

Spring at last?

I spied this on the way to class the other day, the first hint of natural green that I've seen in many moons. Could this mean spring is on the way?

According to this book...

And the arrival of these beautiful Cedar Waxwings, which I also saw on campus two days ago...
Yes! And I am so very excited about it.

Lady Danburry presents:

I recently heard of this adorable boutique and can't wait to shop there. Some of my favorite things about what I've heard: most of the fabric Lynette, the "seamstress" uses in her pieces are vintage (recycled); pieces are completely original, she makes up her own patterns; she's been selling her pieces at her husband's concerts for years (he's a musician) and just recently opened up her own boutique. What a talented, inspiring woman!

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I'm really not that big of a shopper; brand names mean next to absolutely nothing to me, but I do love unique, fun pieces to pair with what I buy off sales racks at Target, Kohls and other places. If you're the same way, look at the gorgeous coat above and sign up to enter the giveaway at ladydanburrysews.blogspot.com, you'll be entering to possibly win this stunning wool jacket. If you live in Provo, feel free to visit:

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Lady Danburry Tailoring & Design
55 North University Avenue Suite 100
Provo, Utah 84601

Honoring Change

This blog is dedicated to changes in our lives that refresh us, invigorate us and inspire us. Even on a superficial level (like my blog look) positive change has a way of making us feel...new. It's fun to think that we can reinvent ourselves even through small means. It's easy to feel like we're stuck in a rut and we do the same things even on our down time (TV watching, anyone?).
These are some changes that help make me feel new:

• Sheets-I love the smell and feel of clean sheets.
• My mind-It's okay! A recently read quote: "Liberty is expressed through the simple act of wandering." ~ T.T. Williams.
• What I read-Sometimes I have to depart from my favorite genres (juvenile, Victorian era) and read something different. I used to resist non-fiction because of boredom factors, but when I branched out I realized what a world I was missing out on.
• Scenery-I love living in Utah. It has an incredible landscape and I don't think you could explore every canyon or mountain in the area thoroughly enough. When I'm tired of being in Provo, at home or at school, it's so lovely to know we can get in the car and be somewhere totally different in a few minutes.
• Routine-sometimes (like yesterday, for instance) it meant doing something as simple as getting up a little earlier so I could take a shower alone, instead of taking a bath with my daughter, something I do everyday.
• Doing something new-a few weeks ago I had more peaches than I knew what to do with. I hated the thought of it going to waste so I decided to try making some jam. I cheated (my breadmaker has a jam-making option), but it was the first time I'd ever done anything like that. I'd never even heard of pectin before. Needless to say, it was a little liberating to know that I can make jam. Maybe someday I'll change my dependance on modern-day appliances:)

These are just a few examples, but I'm curious; What things do you do to get out of a rut?

What I did instead of laundry...

I THOUGHT THIS WAS FUN!
bold: means you have done
italic: means you want to
normal: just stuff/ideas

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Been to the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen buildings of an Ancient Civilization
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Visited the Caribbean
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Been to a World Series game
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten sushi
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someones life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day