day of reckoning

So it's that time of year where I make new resolutions. But first I need to account for those of yesteryear, right? If not, I mean, what's the point? So I'll tick off the goals I had for the year and then tackle the nittier grittier task of accounting for how my theme of the year changed my year and, hopefully, how it changed me.

My 2012 goal list:
Let me preface this list by saying that our lives are a little more topsy-turvy and unpredictable than might be advisable. So some of the completion of these goals (they surely would have been completed, fear not) may have been intercepted by outside circumstances.

• graduate. the mightiest of checks must be assigned to this one. it took me like, seven years to graduate and i did it with a child starting at four months and ending at three years of age. i am absolutely happy and proud to have achieved this goal. 

• get into grad school. this also happened with a few setbacks. so far it's going well.

• get an A in stats. oh, and pass my other classes too. i actually achieved this goal as well. i have never been prouder of a grade in my life. and i passed my other classes too.

• * if you remember, this goal represented an announcement i wasn't yet ready to make. but i did in fact go on an internship to jordan and it was a marvelous, life-changing, unforgettable experience.

• garden. this was one of those goals interrupted by the vicissitudes of fate. our apartment in south jordan promised to be fertile ground for this goal, but we moved just after i had planted our carrots and radishes. when i came back from jordan i did plant some strawberries, squash, and tomatoes in buckets. only the strawberries and tomatoes produced though. i'm still working on the gardening-in-nyc-thing.  

• canning. i canned a thing or two. i believe i canned some apple sauce and tomato sauce and we quickly ate both. i actually bothered to bring my canning equipment with me to our new york city apartment, so i must not be done with this goal yet.

• do a single sewing project. I like to dream big, but if I commit to more than one I may be too intimidated to do even one. no, i didn't even do one. but i also bothered to bring my unused sewing machine with me, so apparently i'm not abandoning this goal just yet either.

• progress in violin. have I mentioned I've picked it up again? i did pick it up again. then i moved to jordan for two months. yet another thing i brought with me to new york city, but i haven't found the time or money to take lessons again and haven't been practicing on my own either. boo.

• shop more at farmer's markets and pick-your-owns. i did both of these, and i continue to try to do it here in new york city. shopping for local produce in jordan was breezy, and i loved frequenting a pick-your-own in provo when i returned. the farmers markets in my new locale are a favorite feature, though i'd like to buy more produce and less yummy treats.

• make cheese and yogurt. from scratch. no to the cheese, but i learned to make homemade yogurt and i continue to do so because it's so easy and economical. cheese would be fun though, and i'm not saying no to this in my future.

• change my name officially to Bracken-Hull. i'm still debating this one. it's a complicated decision.

• be more honest about who I am. this might mean some scary admissions concerning mormon feminism. be ye warned. i think this goal has been generally met and i think i have become less fearful about sharing where i stand and don't stand on this and other topics. 

Now for my larger theme of celebrating. I didn't execute this goal as I had initially thought I would. I thought I would start celebrating all kinds of new holidays and snazzing up those I usually ignored until the very last minute. To some degree, this is what happened. I did in fact celebrate a holiday I hadn't in the past, but had always wanted to, and I plan to continue with this tradition every year from now on. I also marked the passage of some holidays that I had previously ignored or dismissed. I quickly realized, however, that I agree wholeheartedly with Gretchen Rubin in Happier at Home (2012) when she says "I love traditions--but I dislike hassle. I could barely keep up with the big traditions we already celebrated (not to mention the demands of ordinary life)" (p. 177).  Adding more to your plate doesn't necessarily equal a more celebratory spirit. 

I realized halfway through the year that two of my special interests--mindfulness and minimalism--truly captured what I had wanted to experience by making "celebrate" my theme of the year. I don't believe that more equals better, more memorable, or special. I don't think that adding more to our plates helps us appreciate what we already have on our plates to a better degree. Adding more occasions to celebrate didn't make me more mindful or appreciative of the occasions I already had to celebrate. For the record, I am not opposed to adding new occasions to our celebrating repertoire. I just think they should be added more methodically and thoughtfully than my first haphazard attempts were. So for the most part, I abandoned that early vision of my project. Also, due to my minimalist streak, I generally don't like celebrating by accumulating more stuff. So Derrick and I both added cooking--something nourishing, useful, fun, and delicious--as our largest way of commemorating special occasions.

 I also tried to be more mindful of the passing moments; of moments that would never come again in just this way. As I wrote elsewhere, my time in Jordan taught me to practice a little more carpe diem and YOLO and I have memories from the experience I will always treasure. But being in Jordan also helped me recognize how easy it is to take for granted my moments of precious time with my family. Part of mindfulness and minimalism is prioritizing. Everything presents a choice, even what to celebrate. For instance, celebrate my return from Jordan with more much-needed time with my family? Or by achieving a goal that might pay off in the future? Even now, even though I would dearly like to be more confident in my Spanish-speaking abilities, I am satisfied that I made the right choice for me. And I also know that other opportunities to work on my Spanish can be readily available if I prioritize it in the future, whereas being with my daughter at that moment when she needed me and I needed her after our long separation, was a fleeting moment in time.
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Another unlikely discovery I made was the importance of  recording our celebrations and experiences. Gretchen Rubin writes about "spending out" as happiness-inducing. I resisted it. Greatly. But then I read this article about how spending money on experiences, not things, can be a great addition to happiness. This I could get on board with. But the article also mentioned that the memory of those experiences can pay off in happiness dividends later down the road. I have to say that the unexpected gift of an iphone (from my FIL) after my return from Jordan has payed off in happiness dividends and helped me be more mindful of passing moments so I can celebrate them more. Having a camera and video recorder always handy has been a fantastic boon to my theme this year, as weird as it sounds. 

I didn't know when I made "celebrate" my theme of the year all the changes that the year would bring for me and my family. Looking back, I see my choice of theme as prodigious. To live in New York without being mindful of the passing moments and opportunities would be a crying shame. And to live here without recording those moments would be equally egregious. But these things would be just as woeful in Jordan, or Budapest, or London, or tiny-town USA. Celebrating means loving life. Remembering how finite we are and how finite are those around us. Keeping a record of our tiny space here on earth and in time. It means we allow ourselves to enjoy the good life: eating good food; seeing new things; meeting new people; nurturing valued relationships; honoring beloved rituals and traditions; starting new ones; learning; and allowing ourselves to expand through our love, knowledge and experiences. I've certainly expanded this year, and it's been wonderful.

Holidays

I am grateful for any day that makes me stop and celebrate something good or ponderous or beautiful about life.  I'm also grateful for my decision to focus on what it means to celebrate this year (click on link above for more info). Of course there are the more traditional North American holidays that help us ponder things like abundance, life, birth and death.  I also greatly appreciate another North American holiday: Day of the Dead, or Dia de los Muertos, which is a holiday I am currently at work on instating in our house because I think there's nothing more beautiful than a ritual celebration remembering those we've loved who have left us.  I've passed the "traditional" dates of celebrating this (Mexican tradition places the dates between October 31-November6), but I just finished my midterms so cut me a break.  

Just know that in the near future you can enjoy a Day of the Dead post here on my blog.  

Here's a sneak peak for you of my paternal grandmother, a woman who wore her emotions on her sleeve. 

I love her for it.

More on her and the legacy she left me to come soon.

joie de vivre

Since I became a mom roughly three and a half years ago, I've found I'm becoming more interested in, and much better at, celebrating. Which seems ironic, right? But I'm realizing my interests in celebrating, mindfulness, and minimalism -seemingly separate things- all dovetail beautifully into, simply,  joie de vivre.  Because those three things, I think, are ways children naturally are inclined to experience life until they become jaded; sometimes much too soon.

I think in large part my attention to being "plugged in" with my surroundings (in my "Depleted" post, I write that this is possibly the biggest factor in my celebrating style) is due to seeing things through my daughter's eyes.  A ride on the subway isn't a mere ride on the subway.  It is full of sounds, smells, heat (oh, the heat!), and so so so many people to meet.  Lissie has the talent of melting just about everyone's chilly disposition when she inevitably asks "What's your name?" and, without waiting for a reply, "My name's Lissie."  Derrick and I were remarking today about how our daughter seems to bring out the best in everyone we've met here so far. Especially that elderly black woman Lissie insisted on holding hands with up the subway steps. They'd met about, oh, two minutes before, and the woman gently and happily obliged. 

Lissie has brought out the best in me, too.  Though I was formerly resigned to jadedness, she's been training me in the art of creating and appreciating new experiences.  She's taught me to savor them too.  Because by plugging into wherever I am, I am creating something beautiful and rich; I am creating the person she will become, by virtue of the things she is experiencing and will continue to experience, wherever we may be.

 (Eating Chinese food in China Town, Lissie style)

 

(Watching the squirrels in Central Park)

 

 

Depleted

Anyone else feeling depleted this election year? I know even some of my more politically-astute friends are ready to keel over with exhaustion, and who can blame them? Tribalism, especially for people trying to avert it, is exhausting. It's all too easy to fall into a camp, pelting the "other" with abuses. Walking a middle way, now that's tough.  And because it isn't easy, sometimes I am guilty too of "othering" people I don't agree with on certain things. Election year, I am so very very over you.  For the first time in a long time I'm contemplating "unplugging" from social media for a while.  I could really do without another oh-so-original political meme. What about you?

Also, it's been a time since I've visited my theme of the year: celebrate. It's true I haven't blogged about it much lately, but it has very much been working its way into my consciousness over the summer.  And, dare I say it? I actually feel I am getting better at becoming the celebrating me. And with elections coming up, and the accompanying opinion fatigue, I might just celebrate the upcoming months by unplugging and focusing on things that bring me joy. I am learning that my favorite way of celebrating is becoming more plugged in and engaged in the area I am living.

"Turn off the TV. Live your life."

This is a magnet at a friend's house. Lovely, no?

 



Plugged into the beach. When you're camping, engaging with an area is unavoidable.

 

Celebrating scenes from our hometown:

Learning Mindfulness

Photo from papertissue

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How many of you have tried to meditate before? Maybe you sat in yogi position, with your thumb and first finger pinched together into a circle like Rafiki in The Lion King. Maybe you lit a candle. Maybe you failed miserably at it, like I did. I've tried, time and again, to make a ritual out of meditation and then never, ever stuck with it.

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I've realized since that prayer actually works better for me than Buddhist meditation practices, but I think this is because I've just had more practice at it. Of course there are religous reasons for prayer, as in, you know, verbally communicating with God and sustaining your relationship with Him (and/or Her, as you will). But there are practical evidences that prayer is really good for people in a more physical sense. It manages stress levels and creates a sense of well-being in a person in much the same way that Buddhist meditation has been shown to do (I won't reference specific findings here, but there is on-going neuroscientific experimentation, much supported by the Dalai Lama by the way, that demonstrates the positive effects of Buddhist meditation).

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I know I could work really hard at it and master the damn thing, but I'm too lazy. So imagine my delight when I discovered the lazy person's meditation technique.

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It's called Mindfulness. Mindfulness has been called "one of the simplest meditation techniques and potentially the most revealing as it involves letting go of any desire to control your thoughts. Instead, you observe them with detachment as they arise. . ." (Roland 38). Essentially the idea is that we give our thoughts the significance they do, or more often don't, deserve. The idea is that you don't have to control your thoughts, you just have to stop letting them control you. Imagine that the mind is a barking dog. Instead of trying to quiet it, you get on with whatever you need to do and just let the dog bark because that is just what dogs do. Our minds are constantly bringing thoughts to the surface of our individual consciousness. That's just what minds do. It's our choice whether to pay credence to the thoughts and react accordingly.

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One of my favorite things about mindfulness is that it isn't something you "set aside time" to do. You can do it all the time. One mindfulness exercise is that of eating. Instead of hurrying and preparing meals as quickly as possible and chomping them down, one can focus on the task at hand, in this example, eating an apple. You feel the texture of the apples you're slicing. Notice the color and the smell. Maybe you even pay attention to the sound of your knife slicing into the whiteness of the apple's flesh. Instead of swallowing the slices whole, as I'm (almost) wont to do, you chew slowly, focusing on the taste and texture of the apple slice. Feeding your body can be a meditative practice. I can only imagine the health implications.

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The idea is that you can practice mindfulness periodically throughout the day until it becomes second nature. If I were to slow down I would realize that the majority of the time I am tense and anxious, ready to spring to the next task to be done. Of course tasks need to be done, but do they need to be done by an automaton? Do I really have anything to gain by doing tasks anxiously and absentmindedly?

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I know this post is already text heavy, but I came across these helpful mindfulness questions today in a book called The Mindful Brain by Dan Siegel. The idea is that you answer with the traditional "almost never" to "almost always" range:

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• I perceive my feelings and emotions without having to react to them.
• I watch my feelings without getting lost in them.
• In difficult situations I can pause without immediately reacting.
• When I have distressing thoughts or images I just notice them and let them go.
• When I'm walking, I deliberately notice the sensations of my body moving.
• When I take a shower or a bath, I stay alert to the sensations of water on my body.
• I notice how foods and drinks affect my thoughts, bodily sensations, and emotions.
• I pay attention to sensations, such as the wind in my hair or sun on my face.
• I pay attention to sounds, like ticking clocks, birds chirping, or cars passing.
• I notice the smells and aromas of things.
• I intentionaly stay aware of my feelings.
• I notice visual elements in art or nature, such as colors, shapes, textures, or patterns of light and shadow.
• I pay attention to how my emotions affect my thoughts and behavior (or vice versa).
• I find it difficult to stay focused on what's happening in the present.
• It seems I am 'running on automatic' without much awareness of what I'm doing (93-94).

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And there are more, but this is probably enough for now. I know mindfulness didn't make it onto my New Year's Resolution list, but it very well could have. Because I'm realizing that mindfulness is a big part of celebrating (the very prominent resolution of this, my year of 2012). Who wants to go to the trouble of cooking a nice meal if you're not even going to take time to be "in the moment" of eating it? Swallowing it whole? Being done in 5-10 minutes? Where's the fun in that? How else do you think it could play into celebrating? What ways do you think you'd like to practice mindfulness?

Sources:

Roland, Paul. How to Meditate. Ulysses Press, Berkeley 2000.

Siegel, Daniel J. The Mindful Brain. W.W. Norton and Co. NY, 2007.

Caitlin's Mother Blessing

Most of you know that my theme for this year is celebrate, so when I got an invitation to attend a friend's Mother Blessing, I unhestitatingly said yes, even though it meant a commute to Provo on one of my off days. Of all things worth celebrating, I think a woman about to bring new life into the world should be at the tip top of the list, don't you think?

Unfortunately, soon-to-be mothers sometimes go uncelebrated in the excited anticipation for the child itself. Baby showers, though necessary, certainly celebrate the expected child more than the mother, and do so in a way that can come off as rather materialistic. A Mother Blessing, instead, is a spiritual, mother-focused ritual.

"A Mother Blessing is a special ceremony designed to acknowledge, honor, and celebrate a woman's journey into motherhood. Surrounded by some of the most important women in her life she will gain a sense of power, confidence, and support that will help her before, during, and after the birth of her child."

Candles were a special part in the ritual of this particular Blessing: Although I will only be talking about Caitlin's Mother Blessing in this post, keep in mind that every Mother's Blessing can be unique and special, depending on tastes or desires. For more information, please look up the following book, which has more suggestions on ways to celebrate a Mother Blessing:

All the women invited were asked to bring a bead that reminded them of Caitlin or that represented something special to them. The beads will be made into a necklace that Caitlin can wear before, during and/or after her labor:

We opened up our Mother Blessing by saying some prayers. We invited both God and Goddess to be present with us during this celebration, but especially to be present with Caitlin during her important transition. In our prayer to God we asked that our gathering might "bring Caitlin a wealth of strength, peace, and joy to bless her way as she labors and mothers her children." We also prayed that Goddess might "join us today. She is earth herself, her body reflecting mountains and valleys, fields and rivers. Her palpable sensuality is a celebration of physical existence. She represents the waves of primordial waters from which all life and consciousness arise. . .She is peaceful in her body and her truly miraculous power--as woman, as earth--to create life."

Isn't food a special part of any celebration?:

After a symbolic salt-water cleansing, everyone was invited to dispel negative energy. We did this by passing around ritual herbs and taking turns expressing our fears out loud while we flung some of these herbs into a fire. Some of my fears included having a second child, paying for grad school, and not finding a job after grad school. Phew. What a load off.


After this, we focused entirely on Caitlin. Everyone took turns pampering her and making her more comfortable. This included hand, foot and shoulder massages and brushing her hair. Doesn't she look so queenly?:

I volunteered to "put her hair up", a historic symbol of exiting girlhood into womanhood:

A beautiful woman:

We then presented Caitlin with a few simple gifts. Suggested gifts included a promise to deliver a homecooked meal to the family after the labor, a special snack for during the labor, or flowers for Caitlin after the delivery. Thinking of my anxiety about caring for a newborn in addition to Lissie, I bought some toys for Caitlin's first child that she can have in her arsenal should she need a rest with her recent newborn.

After presenting our gifts, yarn was passed around to create a literal web of support for Caitlin. As we wrapped the yarn around our wrists, we invoked our individual blessings on Caitlin and our desires for her labor. My wish was that by going through her labor well, she would have the energy and confidence to push on through her upcoming Ph.D. program (as in, wow, I did that? I can do anything!).

"We are the flow, we are the ebb, we are the weavers, we are the web."

We then cut and tied our own strands of yarn and will wear them until Caitlin has passed through her labor. A phone tree was also created so that all guests can be notified when Caitlin has gone into labor at which time each guest will light a red candle given at the Mother Blessing.
With the red candle, each guest was also offered a free henna tattoo by Caitlin's cousin-by-marriage, Nessa. Awesome!:
Caitlin's, appropriately, was the most elaborate:

Didn't Nessa do a remarkable job?:

And with that, I think this woman is ready to do just about anything:

"Today we have succeeded in forming a beautiful, sacred space for Caitlin's blessing. The power of the feminine spirit has been unveiled in each of us today. Let us stay connected to Caitlin, creating a cradle of support, as she awaits her birthing day and beyond, as she learns to mother her new baby. This has been a powerful day." Amen.

Thanks to Austin for organizing this even and inviting me to it.
And thanks to Charla for granting me permission to use these lovely pictures in this post.

march celebrations

February has passed successfully and we celebrated Valentine's Day and Black History month, though Gutenberg was a bust this year, as Derrick and Lissie were out of town and I was on campus all day.

So, March. To be honest, I don't really feel much like celebrating this month, at least right now. Lissie has been ill all week, and I spent last night battling the worst chills and body aches I've ever had. Dramatically, it feels like nearly every aspect of my life is hanging by a fragile thread. My maternal grandma fell two days ago and isn't doing well. Doctors are saying, most recently, that they expect her to pass away within the next few weeks. sigh.

Even though this month may be bleak I'm still determined that it won't pass entirely uncelebrated. It is Women's History Month, after all, and I simply can't pass up any opportunity to celebrate womanhood. Slotted for this month is a local performance of The Vagina Monologues, and The Porch, where one of my feminist role-models will be telling her story. Sorry folks, I don't do St. Patty's Day. Mostly, I would like to be open to whatever comes our way in terms of celebrating, even if that means celebrating my grandmother's long, well-lived life.

On a somewhat-related sidenote, have you ever seen the movie Yes Man? It didn't win any Academy awards (for good reason), but something I'm learning about celebrating is that it is often an act of saying yes. Too often I find myself saying no. Since starting this theme of the year, I've discovered that I'm much more prone to say yes. Yes, I will embrace this moment. Yes, I will embrace this opportunity. Yes, I will Carpe Diem this day, because I honestly don't know how many more I have. So please check out one of my yes moments, soon to be posted, in the form of a friend's Mother's blessing.

Black History Month

As promised, Lissie and I are celebrating Black History Month by reading library books about black history. Take a gander at our take-home list:

Harriet Tubman and the Freedom Train, Sharon Gayle and Felicia Marshall
Martin Luther King Jr., Peter and Connie Roop
Minty: A Story of Young Harriet Tubman, Alan Schroeder and Jerry Pinkney
George Washington Carver, Tonya Bolden
A Lesson for Martin Luther King Jr, Denise Lewis Patrick and Rodney S. Pate
Sojourner Truth's Step-Stomp Stride, Andrea Davis Pinkney and Brian Pinkney *
Rosa's Bus: The Ride to Civil Rights, Jo S. Kittinger and Steven Walker
Happy Birthday, Martin Luther King Jr., Jean Marzollo and J. Brian Pinkney

*This is my absolute favorite. The writing is lyrical and wonderful, the pictures are delightful. Check it out.

It's not the simplest task to find age appropriate books correlating with Black History month, especially in my white suburb neighborhood library. Some of the books I've listed are definitely above Lissie's age level, so I have to summarize a lot of the text and focus her attention on the pictures. But especially because I currently live in a white suburb, it's important that she hear these stories, even summarized, and see these pictures because the general white American populace is woefully ignorant of black history, and I'm determined that Lissie will not be.

A recent, abhorrent video featuring students at my school has suggested that Mormons are ambivalent about black history. As a generality, I think this is true of white Mormons. But I also think this is an American, not just Mormon problem.

Having said that, I have heard informal statements made by white Mormons (although hereby shortened to just "Mormons" for the purpose of this post, be aware that Mormons are represented by a wide range of races and ethnicities) that indicated that blacks should "get over" ugly, tragic things in their history; that this is something Mormons have done (i.e. religious persecution, extermination orders, houses burned down, property stolen, women raped, people murdered directly by mobs and indirectly by the effects of the Western trek, extreme poverty, etc.) and so it's possible for Blacks too if they'd only resolve to do it.

I want to address this misconception by pointing out several things: Mormons are not, in fact, "over" their painful history and it is very much present in Mormon memory despite the lapse of generations; and there are (need I say it?) very real, significant differences between Black American and Mormon experiences with persecution; by telling people to "get over" their history, we are suggesting, first of all, what seems to me a human impossibility and secondly, we are dismissing something that makes up someone else's, and our own, story and identity. Black history is my history too because historically and currently, black and white history is tied up together, whether we acknowledge it or not.

Let me quantify what I say about Mormons not being over tragedies in their history. I have listed some of the elements that made up a large portion of the persecution mounted against Mormons, which began even before Mormonism was officially founded in 1830. Pioneer Day, held in Utah and some surrounding states on July 24th, marks the day that Mormons entered the Salt Lake Valley and essentially escaped the persecution of the mobs (although that persecution would be perpetuated by the U.S. government in various ways). This is mostly a triumphant holiday, but pioneer stories circulate among families and over Mormon pulpits about the sacrifice of pioneer ancestors who faced massive amounts of persecution and suffering because of their religion. Some ancestors came out of it alive. Others did not. I have stories like this in my own family history, and believe me, Mormons have not forgotten why this suffering took place.

Memories of this persecution have worked their way into the outlooks and identity of Mormons like me, who live after the fact by almost 200 years. These memories have worked their way into our theological outlook. Both the Bible and Book of Mormon are replete with metaphors of "Zion" and "Babylon", and many Mormons, particularly because of the persecution they faced historically, identify as "Zion"; "Babylon" consitutes outsiders, or people Mormons assume to be antagonistic towards them. If you sit in any Mormon meeting, references to "the world", containing threatening or dangerous allusions, are made consistently. Apparently Mormons still view "the world" to be a threatening place. And according to the recent Pew report, 68% of Mormons believe they are not seen as part of mainstream American culture (1), suggesting that Mormons see themselves as religious pariah.

Persecution has also worked its way into Mormon folklore. Mormons are all aware of stories in which other Mormons (that they may or may not personally know) have faced some sort of ignorance or discrimination; in some cases, even job discrimination (2-this is a personal account of such discrimination and a wonderful talk given by a man I admire).

Also according to the recent Pew report, "Nearly half of Mormons (46%) say there is a lot of discrimination against Mormons in the United States today." I don't have statistics to back this up, but my guess is this rate has dropped sharply in the past few years. However, only 31% of Mormons believe that blacks face discrimination. So then, the majority of Mormons feel they as a group face greater discrimination than black people (compare 46% to 31%, you get it) (3). In the words of Joanna Brooks, "Brothers and sisters: get a grip."

This gap is indicative of general ignorance about the kinds of discrimination blacks currently or historically have faced. American blacks and other members of the African diaspora have discrimination built into their memory banks just as Mormons do. Except those memories include pain that current Mormons can only have nightmares about. There are too many differences to list between the pain documented in black history and that documented in Mormon history.

Examples of pain and memory not documented in Mormon history include, but are not limited to, enslavement, torture, systematic disruption of family life, systematic rape, lynching, forced abandonment of religion and culture and the forced adoption of new religious norms, miscegenation laws, Jim Crow, and ongoing economic/policy discrimination. The list goes on and on.

It is hypocritical for Mormons to suggest that blacks "get over" their history when in fact we have not gotten over our own. Nor should we. Certainly there are some toxic elements of remembering tragedies. But there are benefits too. It is my personal belief that Pioneer Day shoud be a U.S. holiday, not just a day celebrated by Mormons; why not impress upon national memory a day that commemorates the threat of extermination and persecution of religious citizens-turned refugees? Isn't there an important lesson in there for everyone?

In a way very few Americans understand, Mormon history is their own. Just as few Mormons understand that Black history belongs to them too.


Works Cited:
1) Acceptance of Mormonism: http://www.pewforum.org/Christian/Mormon/mormons-in-america-mormon-moment.aspx#acceptance
2) http://www.lds.org/liahona/2002/03/the-currant-bush?lang=eng&query=currant+bush
3) Anti-mormon Discrimination: http://www.pewforum.org/Christian/Mormon/mormons-in-america-mormon-moment.aspx#acceptance

love notes to life

In this post I will introduce you to a new spin on Valentine's Day decorating; it's called, as you may have surmised from the title of this post, love notes to life.

As I contemplated decorating for Valentine's Day (and I've begun to appreciate how decorating plays into celebrating, believe it or not) I thought about the traditional use of pink and red construction paper to make the cut-out hearts that my friend Lindsay so cleverly suggested we make as a special craft. But I couldn't bring myself to buy any. I thought instead about what I did have on hand that we could use, which ended up being read copies of The New York Times waiting to be dumped in the recycle bin.

I perused the pictures and decided that instead of focusing on hearts and an abstract, decorative sense of the word love, I could use these valentine's to capture visually what it is about life I love. And I surprised myself by actually having fun while I did this project with a little of Lissie's help:

To be a bit more clear, some of these pictures capture things that make me happy, things that inspire me or just give me a sense of awe about life:

Having a visual reminder of the awe of life is a great way to celebrate, don't you think?

whenever, however

Three things I know:

1. Celebrating may have to do with celebrating something on a prescribed date, but not always. I learned that with my class/commuting schedule, there's no guarantee that I'll feel like making a big shebang out of something if it falls on a Monday, Wednesday or Friday, even if the celebration in question falls on one of those days. Even if said holiday (like Valentine's Day, next Tuesday) doesn't fall on a commuting day, I may not feel like doing the special something I feel like doing now. So do it now. Period.

2. There is no 'right' way to celebrate a special day. One of my favorite people ever would really like to eat enchiladas on Thanksgiving Day, for instance, because she prefers them to your average Thanksgiving fare. DO IT, I say.

3. You, yes you, must learn to make a pavlova. What is a pavlova, you ask? The thing that will impress you and your guests every time. The thing that always elicits feelings of indulgence and sophistication. It is...

absolutely gorgeous, right? Meringue, topped with creamy fluff, topped with fruit. It also happens to be naturally gluten free, which means at future birthday celebrations we may just have a few variations on a theme for our celebrating pals to choose from. There are so many possibilities with this simple recipe. We really like a chocolate pav with rasberries or blackberries on top, and this one goes incredibly with strawberries or, I hear, passionfruit (there goes local eating).

Today Lissie and I checked out some books correlating with Black History Month (more on this in a later post), but I also felt like throwing out a tribute to Valentine's Day. Since we bought the chevre on Saturday, I have been craving it on pizza. When Lissie awoke from her nap and uttered the invariable, "Mommy, I hungry", I whispered conspiratorially if she would like to make some pizza. You can guess what she said in reply.

In charge of her own 'baby' pizza:
"Done!"
So what does this have to with Valentine's Day, right? Take a gander at my oh-so-creative idea:

Lissie helped put on the toppings (some of the cheese escaped her mouth):
Ready to put in:
Waiting. She likes to sit on this ball and sing to herself at various times throughout the day. In this case, while she waited for some Valentine's pizza.

Almost ready to eat:


Sadly, I couldn't make this dinner special for everyone. Derrick had to come home to gluten free leftovers. Haha, poor guy.

february celebrations

This week I've had some new insights about my theme of the year, celebrate. One I had today was, why reinvent the wheel? Meaning, why scrounge around and try to come up with some ideas for what to celebrate when I can look at a calendar and see what's already there? Surely this will make it easier for me, right?

So I went. And I looked. And to some level this was true. But then I became almost overwhelmed by the list I was looking at, which had an endless list of banal events to commemorate each and every day. Don't believe me? Try February, which hosts "National Crab-stuffed Flounder Day", or March 19th: "Sparky Fire Dogs Bday" (seriously, what is this?) or May 22nd: "Buy a Musical Instrument Day." The latter day brings me to my next point about celebrating. It's not about running a consumer marathon. And it's not about celebrating the commodification of everyone and everything under the sun. And it's not about celebrating everything either. I know I used the word banal before, but seriously, the act of celebrating everything makes the act of celebrating something just plain banal.

So I had to narrow down the list. No offense to Sparky, but he, she, or it did not make the cut. My current list is by no means exhaustive. I plan on keeping my eyes open to celebrate things that don't make the terrible list I used for research. Things like favorite authors bdays, family/friend bdays, and other special dates could be added to the agenda at any time. I'm also really open to feedback, like: "Jen, I don't think you meant to skip Thanksgiving," or "Haven't you forgotten about ride-a-bike month?" (Yes, I've forgotten which month this is-help?). Here is a list for this month:

February:
African-American History month. (Is this all about being PC? puh-lease. Well...maybe. Whatever, screw you!) But seriously, I think I and Lissie both have a lot to learn about the stories that have created our current America and I want all those stories and experiences to be validated by people who will recognize them. So count me in. *For every monthly theme, I plan to celebrate by checking out books for Lissie and I to read together that correlate with that theme. In this case, books that discuss the Black American experience.

14- Valentine's Day: I know this day has been heavily commercialized, but why not celebrate a day that highlights special and often irreplaceable friendships? I remember one particular Valentine's Day when my parents surprised my sister Becca and I with stuffed animals on our beds. I've always felt warm and fuzzy inside when I think about it. So I think I'll pass the love along by making Lissie feel extra loved by both her parents on this day. Game plan includes a few homemade craft/decorations and some fun with lipstick kisses and pictures for Lissie, a valentine exchange for us and Lissie, and a special treat for all of us. I'm looking up some ideas on pinterest for easy crafts, but if you have any suggestions hit me up.

23-Gutenberg Day: Books are a big deal in our family, so I think this would be a great day to think about and celebrate the role they play in our lives. So far ideas escape me as to how to celebrate this day. What do you think?

I will update this as I go along, so stay posted for a March, April, etc. list. What do you think, did I miss anything important for February?