I watched a beautiful short clip for my class on the political economy of women yesterday. It was called "Morocco: the Rights of Women" and centered on the efforts of one woman in particular, Aicha Belarbi, in increasing the status of women in her country through democracy.
My favorite part of the clip was when Aicha talked about her marriage and three children. She was asked (in French of course), "What role do politics play in your family?" She replied that it played an enormous part of her partnership with her husband and in her family's daily life. She told a beautiful story about when her first daughter was born. Traditionally, a sheep is slaughtered for a party to celebrate the birth of a child. However, various political movements were circulating at the time of her daughter's birth, so they broke with tradition and instead of using their money to purchase a sheep, they donated that money to a worthy political cause. They did this with each of the births of their children.
It made me think about meaningful traditions, and how celebrating really can be (should be?) a conscious act. I hope my post about Christmas is a step in the right direction for us as a family, but I have a lot of work to do in this area. For instance, I've never been very excited about Halloween, even as a kid. Now I'm trying to see the virtue in this celebration at all. I know, I know. It's fun. It's for kids. But all that processed sugar, cheaply-made yet pricey (for me least) costumes you use only once a year. What is the big deal? But I've been thinking that I really don't want to ruin the excitement of this time of year for my children. I know one woman who makes a bunch of homemade treats (homemade Snickers bars!). She allows her children to trick-or-treat, but then they give their candy away to the kids that come to the door and eat made-with-love, often healthier, special treats. I love it!
I've been more conscious of buying foods in season lately. Not super great at it yet, but I've been trying. What if our Halloween/fall tradition included me buying pumpkins not for decoration, but for fun pumpkin-based recipe experiments my kids can join in and enjoy. This makes this celebration of a brightly-colored, beautiful time of year more meaningful because we're also trying to eat more local and seasonal. This may seem granola and cheesy to others, but it actually makes me slightly more excited to celebrate Halloween.
Now, deviation from the norm doesn't always equal more meaningful, but I think many families find a way to adapt a tradition to themselves. For my sister and I, placing plates on a table may be a way of perpetuating a meaningful tradition.
What about you? What do you do to celebrate consciously (note: this doesn't always mean differently)? What traditions would you like to start? Or what traditions do you want to deviate from for whatever reason (Mine is the giving of cheap, plastic things, but this isn't desirable for everyone)? I'd like to know.
6 comments:
Why don't you teach your kids the fun game of throwing their Halloween candy up in the air and then diving for it, but in the end giving it all to Becca ;) (Do you remember playing that game?) Or have Becca teach them how to set up a lemonade stand in the front yard and sell all their candy for profit ;) J/K.
I think you need to talk to Dorey to get a little spark of her Halloween magic. She is amazing!
I have decided I'd like to decorate my kids clothes closet spooky each year. I found a link for making Monster hangers: (http://familyfun.go.com/crafts/closet-monsters-1024684/), and I'll do glow in the dark ghosts, spider webs, etc. That way I don't have ugly Halloween stuff all over, but it can still be fun for my kids =)
HAHAHAHA. Of COURSE I remember that stupid game. In fact, it may have caused my antipathy for Halloween. Those sound like fun ideas, but I may be a hopeless cause for Dorey's considerable expertise.
First of all, if you're considering pumpkin treats, this list of recipes from my baking friend could help: http://barefootinthekitchen.blogspot.com/2011/10/pumpkin-round-up.html
As for me, I haven't really built up the new traditions, but I've been very active in breaking down old traditions that don't work for me (did I know you last Nov when I wrote this blog post http://llcall.wordpress.com/2010/11/26/reflections-on-thanksgiving/ about my Thanksgiving loathing?). I don't do Christmas gifts (the type or amount) that I grew up seeing; this may become more of an issue as Addison ages and can compare the gifts she gets to her cousins, but for now, it's helped me to completely bypass the whole "Christmas shopping" thing I loathe. I make the gifts primarily, with an occasional online purchase if I find something I know the person will really love. Honestly, I think I'm becoming more and more like Neal in thinking there are just too d#@% many holidays. Making a big deal about each one? Not gonna happen even if I wanted to. I suspect that as Addison gets older, we'll see what she gravitates toward and go from there. As for Halloween, I was actually one of those rare kiddos that hoarded my candy and ate it slowly, over months -- so I loved it because it supplied me with little treats the rest of the year. But I probably can't count on that with Addison, so I also feel that I want to minimize the sugar overload. I guess we'll visit you for Halloween and share your pumpkin goodies ;)
I love your idea about pumpkins! I have recently felt the same and have just found a nice recipe for a pumpkin soup that I hope to be brave enough to make. Making Eleanor's food though makes me think it will be grand, when previously I might have wavered.
As far as traditions go, I LOVE them. I think I like them so much because they make things special. It is something to look forward to and as much as it would be nice to have little special things in every day it is not possible and having holidays, or little cheesy events (baggins birthday bash, yes, for frodo & bilbo) makes life a little bit more lovely. I never imagine myself to be one who goes all out on decorations and other time consuming ( and often time wasting) activities, but just little things, a few bats, a leaf garland, little things can go a long way.
Really though, nostalgia is probably the real reason. Anything that makes me feel the comfort of childhood and delight of small traditions makes me feel happy, even when life would try to make it otherwise.
Ahh...Halloween. I used to love it..till we went Organic dairy free. I do not want my kids eating that terrible candy with refined sugar, high fructose corn syrup, etc. I also don't want them missing out on trick or treating. They are different enough. So what we have decided to do this year is... we will take the kids trick or treating and for every candy they give up, we will give them 5 cents. They are so excited for this idea...
1. They get to dress up and trick or treat with their friends.
2. They get money to buy something they can really use.
3. They get to give and learn to decide to go without. They are making the choice.
Im hoping when we get a "home" we can have a big Halloween party at home instead. I would love to bob for organic apples... lol
Also for Christmas when the kids get older and Santa is no longer believable...lol....we are going to buy tickets for a trip we will take sometime in the year. Like disneyland tickets or a cruise. something that everyone will look forward to on Christmas morning..Where are we going to go this year? etc....Im super excited to start this new tradition.
I love all the holidays. I read today something that said.. you only get 18 birthdays, 18 halloweens, 18 christmas etc with your children being children. Im going to enjoy every single one of them. :)
I really loved this post, Jen! Jared and I have been talking about what traditions we want to pass on. I think incorporating what fruits and veggies are available that time of year is a great idea. It would encourage me to better my cooking skills and something fun to do with the kids( when we have them).
When Jared and I were engaged we talked about how we wanted to Christmas to be an experience where our children served others and didn't focus on what they were going to get. It want it to be Christ focused. We have talked about setting a Christmas budget and we will spend a certain amoutn on each child( the same amount for each child) and then take the left over money and buy Christmas dinner or gifts for another family or donate it to the local soup kitchen or a charity that we trust or give it to the bishop to use on a family in need. I am sure there are many other ideas that would help us to embrace the true meaning of Christmas, this is one that we have. I'll let you know how it worked int he years to come. ;)
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