red-letter day

I know it happens all the time. We celebrate landmark events even, or sometimes especially, if the person we hope to celebrate, or celebrate with, is gone.  It happened this past Mother’s Day for my mother who struggled to know exactly what to do to commemorate it with my grandmother’s recent passing.  It happens on birthdays, Presidents’ day, MLK day, Christmas, Easter, and, as mentioned, Mother’s/Father’s Day.  And we’ve all seen movies or read novels or personally witnessed how psychologically hard this can be on people.

While I’m not in the throes of existential despair, I have been back and forth on how exactly to commemorate this day, my fourth wedding anniversary, without my partner in crime.  Separated by an ocean, and quite a bit of land mass in between, we will be apart, for the first time, on our anniversary.

I have other plans in the works, but I wouldn’t feel like much of a blogger if I didn’t do the obligatory number-correlated list that emerges on loved ones’ birthdays and other such special occasions. 

So here it goes, four reasons I continue to be grateful that I married Derrick:

one. Derrick doesn’t just put up with my craziness. He likes it. Sometimes I think he might even love it.  Like the time I decided it was a great idea to go back to school four months after having a baby, or that one time I decided to shave my head, or another time when I took him to a goat farm for our date night and bought chevre at an unseemly price (admittedly he liked this one a little less), Derrick is up for about any curve ball I frequently throw his way.

two. This one is easy. Derrick is the most patient man I know. He handled 18 months apart while I was on my mission like a champ. Last summer while I lived in Arizona and he lived in Utah, a word of complaint never escaped his lips. And, quite obviously and more recently, the seven weeks we will have been apart this summer, with no visitation rights, Derrick has yet again proven that he is a man whose patience is a force to be reckoned with as he has tackled single parenthood. Let me make a public announcement about this: my husband is a master potty trainer, and that makes him a god.

three. We are a great couple because we consistently make scary choices. Derrick is brave, and brave is sexy. We might continually make decisions that don’t make a lot of sense to other people, but I know for sure we’ll have a life of adventure ahead of us.

four. There was once a time when I debated whether I should marry Derrick because we seemed like the exact same person and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. It seemed too easy and maybe a little dull. Then we got married anyway and I realized how mistaken I had been. In our four years together I’ve changed a lot; differences have been heightened and at times that has been challenging and frightening. Derrick somehow managed to love the core of me, and has learned to appreciate and respect our differences, which at times have seemed pretty substantial. I’m not sure a lot of other men could have done that, and that makes my husband very special.

Happy Anniversary to us.