HOW much I am disliking my classes this semester? For the first time since starting school again I'm not enjoying it. Sure, I'm interested in and enjoy my Stats class, but have I told you lately that I got a 78% on my first exam last week after putting forth my best effort?
In the past I've literally wept about getting an A-. An A-!! Now I think I'll be happy if I finish my college career with straight C's. Does this mean I have the dreaded senioritis?
But please, no pity. I actually think this signifies a healthy transition for me; one in which I recognize that there is value in hard work alone, even if it doesn't pay big dividends; in which my confidence isn't tied directly to how I'm doing in my classes, as it has in the past because I'm beginning to appreciate and develop new dimensions of myself. Both good things, right?
4 comments:
most definitely agree! I definitely went through the phase(s) where I was too hard on myself when it came to grades, but like you said I just had to remember that getting an A isn't the most important thing in the world, it's that you are learning and understanding and growing.
Here's a quote from one of my favorite speeches of all time (by President Hinckley, makes me just about tear up every time):
"...You don't have to be a genius. You don't have to be a straight-A student. You just have to do your very best with all the capability you have. You have to do your very best. And somehow, if you do that, God will open the way before you and the sun will shine, and your lives will be fruitful and you will accomplish great good in the world in which you take a part..."
sorry, longest comment of all time.
Beautiful quote! Thanks, Jaimie :)
This transition does sound healthy! A shift from external to internal focus and validation. For me, that is one of the hardest things about motherhood...no one ever tells me what a good job I'm doing or pats me on the back. But in my work/school/research/other life, that happened all the time. I still wish you could enjoy your classes a bit more, but still, there is more to life than school...like CELEBRATING ;)
Ha! -I thought this was going to be a Feb Valentine themed post by the title. I was way off! Honestly I've never stressed about grades (although I'm sure many times my Dad wished I had), and I never really understood people who got worked up about an A- (no offense Jen, I was just surprised to realize that you are kind of a type A personality, I should know that about you!) The biggest growing experience for me was that Chemistry class I took when I was pregnant with Reese. It was literally torturing my mind trying to understand the concepts. And there was no real reason for it, I knew that I wasn't going to continue schooling once Reese was born. But I'd put on my backpack loaded with fat heavy text books and do the pregnant lady waddle the three blocks to my class just to prove something to myself I guess. I tried utilizing the tutoring services the school offered, but the nerdy Chem dude was always too busy flirting with chicks to help a pregnant lady. I remembered reading an Ensign article that talked about how the Spirit is the best teacher of ALL truths/knowledge, not just gospel. So I decided to depend on the spirit as my tutor. I would spend a good five hours on homework, praying and reading (and re-reading) until something clicked. And I was very conscientious about things (like music) that would drive the spirit away. I was shocked when I got an A at the end, I was just hoping for a C. It was a great faith builder to me to realize how much the Lord is willing to help us with our goals if we trust him and work hard. And this may not make much sense but it meant something extra to me because it wasn't imperative for me to succeed, (as opposed to life altering goals where I sort of tend to expect His help). Sorry for such a long comment! I love you Jen. (and don't stress about Stats.)
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