I know I had perfuntorily started to do {this moment} posts, but I have been so bad at taking pictures for the last little while. So I'm going to do one of those thinky posts. Again. Sorry especially to Nana and Papa who so long for photos of their lone grandaughter. It will come.
But for now I'm going to do some reflecting. Remember this post about how we were going to be so proactive and adventurous? Well, over a year later we've done a grand total of 2 of those things. We've gone to library book sales and gotten hot chocolate. How embarrassing! Two of the things I listed can only be done in Fall. The time has passed and we most likely won't be here for another one.
I have to say in our defense that it is about one bajillion times easier to go out and do fun adventurous things when you don't have a child. Also, when you don't collapse with fatigue at the end of each evening. Most of the time I drift in busy, boring complacency until I suddenly get the "itch" to stop being so boring and to get a freaking life. Sometimes I observe that there are couples who do a ton of fun things in spite of these challenges (okay, one of the couples I'm thinking of doesn't have a child, but they seem to be constantly planning and going on fun little vacations. They also seem to always have the money for these things. Um, how? They also seem to get a kick out of the weirdest, simplest things. Might I also mention that I dislike the couple? Well, at least I really dislike the male half of the couple. I've never actually met her. No one reading this is this couple, I promise. TANGENT).
Want to know what gave me the "itch"? This is so embarrassing, but it was the movie Tangled. I like the movie okay, but I don't love it. Mother Gothel's irritating, sing-songy voice? The superfluous and annoying animal characters Pascal and especially Maximus the constipated dog-horse? The cliche lyrics (they actually use "crystal clear" as a metaphor in one of the songs. More creativity please!)? And the sub-par ones ("Take it from your mumsy", "Don't be a dummy! Come with mummy")?
But as I watched the movie with Lissie for the umpteenth time I suddenly had a new sense of appreciation for the film. Rapunzel wants to see those darned lanterns. More than anything in the world. I've talked about dreams in another post. I suddenly realized that Rapunzel's seemed more appealing than mine at that moment. I tend to think of my big-mamma dreams as a "one day I'll be content and happy and everything will be wonderful" dream. Everyone talks about how bad it is to think the grass will be greener on the other side. I know from personal experience that there's always more to be had and this thinking is erroneous. I am as bad as a Disney song-writer in this post, but I've also remembered that addage about not getting what you want but wanting what you "got".
I work really hard and I'm really driven. But I don't always have much fun. I'm not very good at setting short-term goals, especially when it comes to getting out of a rut and having a good time. Wouldn't it be fun to do something just for the wonder of it? Instead of always thinking about how it will change your life and make it better?
For instance, when I was turning 16 I casually mentioned to my mom that I'd always wanted to milk a cow. Not because I wanted to be a dairy farmer. I just thought it would be a cool, new experience. We took some of my friends to our snowy cabin in Southern Utah for my birthday and without telling me my mom actually arranged with some acquiantances in a nearby farming community to let me and my friends come milk their cow. To this day, this is one of the coolest things my mom ever did even if that family thought it was really strange.
I think I've foolishly removed myself from thinking about life in this way, so I'm going to have to do some mental backtracking. In other words, this is something I'm going to have to think about for the next little while. After all (oh my gosh, I can't believe I'm about to say this), Rapunzel's dream wasn't formed overnight. It took, like, 14 years for her to decide how important seeing those lanterns was to her. I'm not saying it has to be that formative, but just something I've always wanted to do but that I have pushed aside in my subconsious.
What is something you've always wanted to do, but haven't done yet? For those of you who are good at having fun (and I know you are out there), do you have any advice on where I should start?
7 comments:
You reflect so well. I like that. :) It's always a pleasure to read what you write! I saw a sign the other day that simply said something SO true and it's my 2 cents here. ;) "The grass is always greener where you water it."
Oh and on a side note, I love, love how your Mom did that for you on your birthday lol.
I've felt a lot like this lately too. Although the difference between you an I, is that you have some pretty good excuses, and I don't. I don't have any kids, no school, I only work full-time. For this past summer I would keep saying, "I can't wait for this triple digit weather to be over with...we'll have so much fun outside when it has cooled off!" Well, it has officially cooled off...and we haven't done anything.
I have a ton of things on my "to do" list, but currently what is fresh in my head and totally doable is: 1. go to Sedona for the day. I don't think I've ever been there! 2. go to the Musical Instrument Museum. See? they aren't so bad, yet somehow I always find a way to NOT do those things. Oh, and I want to have a picnic in a park. I look forward to seeing reports about your adventures! ;)
I think it's funny that you dislike the only half of a couple that you've ever met. You crack me up.
I always think of that quote by President Hinckley that "Life isn't just meant to be endured, it's meant to be enjoyed." The thing is there are some periods where enduring is all I can manage, and then there are other periods where I know I have it really good and I need to enjoy/make the most of it, and store up grateful memories. I guess what I'm saying is I do think you will have "greener" periods in your life. Going to school is stressful (especially with a family!) and it's hard to enjoy down time without that nagging feeling in the back of your head that you should be studying or doing something more productive. I believe that even with how ambitious you are, you will have periods in your life where time isn't stretched so thin, and where a budget isn't so restrictive, and you will appreciate it even more because of your lack thereof right now.
Oh, and how could you not love Maximus!?! He's like the coolest horse ever! (Next to Philip from Beauty and the Beast.)
I sure do love reading your blog. I have always thought of myself as quite adventuresome and have always relished in setting goals (sometimes silly ones) and doing them. However at the start of this year when I sat down to set some goals I really toned it down and made them a lot more about being than doing, just because I did not know what life might actually be like with a baby and I didn't want to disappoint myself by setting goals that I couldn't achieve. It is SO much harder to have spontaneous adventures with a child, as I have learned, and although my daily living of life has been quite grand this year, your post woke me up to the fact that I need to get out there and start doing things while I am living here that I might never have a chance to do again!
My parents always told me that they never let us kids get in the way of what they wanted to do, because it was usually things they wanted us to share in too. So I went fishing on my dad's back as a baby and am grateful to this day.
Here is my silly list:
1) Go on a road trip to Jerome AZ and stay in a "haunted" hotel.
2) Go/hike to any nearby archaeology sites.
3) Get cherry limeades and drive up the mountains to watch the sunset more (for some reason this is one of my most favorite things to do in Tucson ever)
4) Have a random day of taking pictures by all my favorite old churches/architecture/artwork in town.
5)Leave random inspirational quote post-it notes around town (got that idea from an awesome blog http://thingsweforget.blogspot.com/)
6) Enter the Tucson Japanese Speech contest
...there tis!
One of our goals while we're here in Ireland has been to tour and see the country. It hasn't really happened yet, and we only have a few weeks left. So, I've decided to set aside the 2nd Saturday each month to do a day trip. We'll see if it works!
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